Lost my Wife

Recently my wife and I were out hunting here in North Dakota. Sure enough, as we were stalking our prey, my wife got lost in the rows.

I ran into several other men who had brought their wives hunting as well. The same thing happened to them, they lost their wives in the rows.

I saw the telltale looks in their eyes, all glazed over and showing a bit of concern along with a good helping of frustration. When the eyes of men meet while looking for lost wives there are plenty of eye rolls, the shaking of heads and stares at the floor, as if these physical acts would help. One never really knows why men bring women hunting. The truth is, they actually know exactly what they are looking for. The predictable problem occurs when the man, focusing on where the hunt is taking place, gets sidetracked. Suddenly he looks up and realizes that he is completely and utterly alone – except for the other fellows who have fallen into the same malady.

I am pleased to announce that my wife, and all of the wives of my fellow men found what they were hunting for. You see the rows were the aisles of Michaels craft store in Bismarck, and sure enough we all ended up en-mass, together at the cash register – each fellow to a man still rolling their eyes. And while myself and the fellows I mentioned would insist that it was in fact our wives that were lost, it was actually, well, cough, cough, the guys. I’m embarrassed to say I got lost twice on that visit…

In the midst of being the bearer of red cheeks, I’m pleased to announce that my wife is an expert hunter – it only cost me $27 with coupons…

I’m so proud.